Investigations Into
Interoffice Relations

Chapter 2

Jenny didn't want to be Cat Grant's "assistant" any more than she wanted to date Steve Lombard. But she couldn't unhear Cat's observations about Lois Lane and Clark Kent. She tended to watch Lois closely any way because she considered her a mentor. Sure Lois worked her ragged with fact-checking, but she'd never made Jenny feel incompetent. Her praises were rare but sincere, her criticisms blunt but accurate.

Clark's hiring at the Planet had created a bit of a buzz amongst the interns and other new employees because no one had really ever heard of work written under his own name. According to Perry White, Clark published articles under several pseudonyms. Jenny looked his stuff up. They were pretty good but certainly not good enough for Lois to take him under her wing. Roughly written by Journalism 101 standards, nevertheless, they contained a refreshing sort of insight, as if studying situations from a great distance and pointing out all facets of a story. His style couldn't differ more from Lois', a writer Jenny's professor called "the watered-down grandchild of gonzo journalism." But again today, just like yesterday and the day before, and all the day before that since Cat Grant dropped her mealy little bait at the intern table hoping to hook a chump, Jenny couldn't help but notice Lois and Clark together.

Lois had rolled her chair across the aisle to Clark's desk. Their shoulders touched each time Lois pointed at Clark's monitor. Their knees brushed. Clark's head tilted towards Lois even when she stopped speaking, like he couldn't help but gravitate towards her. Jenny got it; she really did. Who wouldn't be a little in love with Lois Lane? The real puzzle was why Lois Lane acted possibly maybe in a way a little bit in love with Clark Kent.

She told herself she wasn't doing this for Cat Grant's tabloid column. She just wanted to get things straight. Jenny marched up to Clark's desk, a manila folder in hand. "Lois, I have the documentation you wanted for the Coates District building permits."

Lois held her hand out. Jenny gave her the folder and waited for another order. Lois flipped through the papers, her eyes narrowing as she scanned the contents. Clark leaned over Lois' arm to look as well and Jenny braced herself for an outburst. Lois hated people reading over her shoulder.

"That's a LexCorp subsidiary." Clark pointed to a name on the list.

"You sure?" Lois asked.

"I've got, um..." Clark flapped his hand at his desk.

Lois opened the second drawer on Clark's right hand side. "Beside the..."

"No, just behind..."

"Got it."

How in the world did Lois find anything in Clark Kent's desk? Jenny researched for him a few times already. As far as she knew, he didn't have a filing system; he seemed to stuff papers wherever his desk had room. Lois was a great investigator, but Clark's desk was a train-wreck during a riot in the middle of a hurricane.

She must have looked as bewildered as she felt because the two turned towards her. "What?" Lois demanded.

"Uh. Nothing. Just... wondering if you need me to look up anything else."

"What about the--" Clark began.

"--shipyard accounts." Lois scribbled a three-item list on her legal pad, ripped it out, and handed it to Jenny. "See if you can track down these contracts. Apparently, the company's expanding from New Jersey. The story's a little too clean--"

"--considering current construction trends--" Clark continued.

"--pre-attack were reduction not expansion," Lois finished.

"On it." Jenny scurried away. Okay. That was just weird.

Lois could no longer deny how much Clark spoiled her. His gestures weren't grand; they didn't fly to South America or Europe on weekends; he never made her diamonds by compressing coal. Nor would she have wanted these. (The occasional flight to Florence or Croatia would be pretty awesome though). Instead, he showered her with small, constant bits of thoughtfulness. Coffee always made in the mornings to her specifications. Rubbing her shoulders or her feet exactly when she needed to unwind. Pictures randomly sent to her phone that made her laugh. A bottle of wine and nibbles set out when she had to work late and they missed each other in transit. Slow dancing just under the clouds which, all right, was pretty high up there on the grandness scale. She wasn't even sure he understood how rare his habitual kindness was.

Clark lay on his belly on the bed, his head and arms hanging over the edge while he read through three piles of papers laid out on the floor. When he didn't jam a cap on his head or slick it back for Superman duties, his hair puffed out in a cloud of curls. One curl always hung over his forehead. She loved to flick it before landing a kiss pretty much anywhere on his stupidly handsome face. Affection whirlpooled in Lois' gut.

She crawled up on the bed and flopped on top of him. "You're looking serious."

"Mmm." Clark studied two different sheets of paper.

Scanning the contents, she commented. "Rental ads, huh?"

"I can't live off your generosity forever," he said. "If I'm going to make Metropolis my home base, I should have my own address."

"You're looking at Midvale? That's at least an hour's train ride away."

"The rent's also fifteen percent cheaper than anything in the downtown core especially with the new buildings."

Shimmying closer to the edge of the bed-- and sheer random happenstance, closer to Clark's hair which she was seriously starting to develop a fetish for-- Lois said, "That entire area is a LexCorp development. You're gonna want to avoid that."

"Why? Poor building materials?"

"The building materials are all right. It's the management that sucks. The supposed low-cost, sustainable housing razed an entire mountain's worth of trees in eastern Washington State and the fine print in the lease absolves the landowner, AKA LexCorp, from almost every insurance claim. So even if the rent's not that high, by the time you tack on all the bills plus strata plus repairs, you're actually looking at costs pretty similar to Reeveton or Centennial Park West. Which means the grants LexCorp got for sustainability and social aid are as fraudulent as his botoxed face. Also Lex Luthor is a dickwaffle and you shouldn't give him any more money."

Clark turned his head to arch an eyebrow at her. "Don't hold back now, Lois."

She pointed at a separate pile. He obediently handed it to her, turning on his side so she slid off his back and tucked into his body. "You're looking at some pretty crappy places."

"I'm on a budget. And I've got to make sure the views aren't scenic."

Right. He had to be able to fly in and out covertly, not an easy task in the age of smartphones and drone satellites. Considering Superman's popularity, half of Metropolis had telescopic lenses trained on the skies for a shot of him in action.

"If that idiot paparazzi hadn't caught our interview on a roof, this wouldn't be so hard," said Lois.

"Interviews in other public areas weren't effective," Clark reminded her.

"I suggested the top of the Appalachians--"

"But that would increase accusations of bias--"

"Which already exist because I write the best articles about you--"

Clark stroked her cheek.

"--and also I have a vagina and, therefore, can't help but throw my legs in the air when you're around."

He frowned. "They're still writing those?"

"They'll always be writing those," said Lois. "Or reporting it. Or whispering it at the water cooler."

"I could make a statement--"

"Ineffective, at best; fuel for the fire, at worst. I find shoving their noses into my Pulitzer and my 'bitch-please' expression works best." Lois demonstrated. "If that still doesn't work, I could always use more targets for my articles. Isn't it fascinating how misogynistic assholes who mouth off are also connected corruption and crime? Maybe that'll be my next multi-part series."

Clark pressed a kiss to her temple. "I look forward to copy-editing it."

"Ugh." Lois made a face. "I need my good mood back. Take your shirt off, please."

He laughed. "What, now?"

"I said please." She nibbled at the cords on his throat. "Come on, Clark. I need a distraction from dickwaffles and misogynists."

"Now I'm a distraction. I'm hurt, Lois."

Lois slid her hands up under Clark's shirt and began sucking in earnest on the muscles between his neck and shoulder. She hadn't been able to give him a hickey yet but fortune favoured the persistent.

"I thought we had something special." Clark grabbed her ass and pulled her flush against his body, throwing one leg over her thigh."I thought we had a connection. A deep, meaningful bond that transcended--"

Conveniently, in her current position, Lois could still slide her leg back and forth across Clark's groin. His sentence stuttered momentarily but he carried on, brave little solider that he was. She decided to work her way down his left arm to the soft, sensitive skin behind his elbow.

"-- the, uh, the shallow objectification and commod-- ahhhh, holy lord!-- commodification of people who, uh, should rightfully be judged--"

He still didn't have his shirt off. Pretty rude, after she said 'please' and everything. Lois pulled on the hem at the back of the offending article of clothing until Clark ducked his head and shoulders forward. Good-bye, shirt; hello, rock-hard man flesh. Lois tweaked one of his nipples while her mouth followed the other hand around his abs.

"--not according to their--hnngh!-- their ethnicity or gender, but on the content of their cha-character--"

Lois popped her head up. "Are you paraphrasing MLK while we make out?"

Clark's panting exaggerated his wince. "Inappropriate for the situation but it's the first thing that came to mind."

"Your brain is so sexy, I want you to move in with me so we can do this all the time."

Well.

That wasn't exactly how Lois wanted to broach the subject but Clark made her want to do all sorts of craziness like remember his birthday, slow dance in public, and shoot people who wanted to hurt him. Around him, she felt things she'd sworn existed in fantasy (but then again, she now lived in a world with confirmed aliens, so perhaps she should realign her beliefs on fantasy and reality). He sure was taking his sweet time answering though. His shell-shocked expression had yet to fade and Lois was pretty sure she was developing shell-shock herself because she'd never asked anyone to move in with her, nevermind a guy she'd only met three and a half weeks ago under the threat of global annihilation. She was confident that he was very interested in her but maybe she offended his Midwestern sensibilities by offering to live together before she proposed and, Jesus B. Anthony Christ, propose? What?!

"Lois." He threaded his fingers through her hair. "This isn't a 'no.'"

"You don't have to; forget I said--" she interrupted.

"I'd love to say 'yes.' The past few weeks have been..." He pressed his lips together, unable or unwilling to continue, so instead he kissed her. Sweet, close-mouthed, and soft on the lips while his hands strayed up high enough that his thumbs brushed the undersides of her breasts. "Lois."

"It's okay, Clark, no explanations needed."

Clark folded her hands into his own. "Lois, please, you don't understand. I'm just... You make me feel..." He kissed her again, harder this time. "I never thought anyone like you could exist."

"That's funny," said Lois. "I was going to tell you the same thing."

She returned the kiss, just as hard, pulling a little on his hair.

"I like penthouses," she muttered into his lips.

"Me too."

"Besselo has some great penthouses."

"South Besselo? The part developed by WayneCorp?"

"Leading the country in legitimate green technologies."

"We'll start looking tomorrow." Clark nosed down to her collarbone. "Lois, do you think you could take your shirt off, too, please?"

MOAR soundtrack: Iron & Wine - Love & Some Verses "I never thought anyone like you could exist."
"That's funny. I was going to tell you the same thing."
From Superman: Secret Origin by Geoff Johns, Gary Frank, Jon Sibal, & Brad Anderson