Twenty things you might not know about Remy Lebeau




Response to kaz814's challenge on marvel_fic. Also, I'm stalling because action scenes make me sad and synopese make me cry for my mommy.

1) He can give up smoking any time but he'd rather die than give up chocolates and candies. He has been known to go on a crazed candy-run at the local 7-11 when his stash runs out. His grocery receipts look like order forms for Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

2) He is a history freak. He has TiVo'd every history special on TV. He can and has spent all day in the history section of the library. He may or may not have afternoon tea from The Plaza regularly delivered to the circulation desk at the history section and they may or may not be letting him renew the books as many times as he wants.

3) He's taking computer science classes by correspondence. Too many things are digital nowadays. He's contemplated getting tutoring from Kitty Pryde but he hates the idea of not being a know-it-all. Plus, she'd probably want to know why he's taking classes, then he'd have to lie to her, and then he'd have to try to remember the lie. Really, it wasn't worth the aggravation.

4) His favourite movie is "The Princess Bride" but he tells everyone it's "The Godfather." Only Rogue knows this secret and, somehow, he's okay with it. He suspects it was because she said he reminded her of Wesley to which he replied that she was no Buttercup. Before she could hit him, however, he said she was more like Inigo Montoya. She was very pleased about this and made sure later on that he was very pleased as well.

5) He loves to dance, anything from hip-hop to ballroom. He's actually a great dancer because he loves his body and being in his body. When no one is in the house, he cranks up the radio and dances around the room.

6) He has been known to maim people for touching his praline ice cream. NO ONE touches his praline ice cream. Warren still has a scar in an unmentionable place because he ate a bowl of Remy's praline ice cream and the punishment included a cheese grater, a few ping pong balls, and the diving board.

7) He has a mole on his-- oh wait, you all know that.

8) He listens to audiobooks when he's riding his motorcycle or working out in the gym. It began as a way to blend into crowds-- if someone asked a literary question, he'd have an answer-- but he's actually starting to like a few of them. Most of the items in his booklist are from Hank, Rogue, and Scott.

9) When he was nineteen, he got some money posing for a romance novel cover as a favour to a woman he was dating. He wore a really bad blond wig and leather pants and spent the whole time trying to find ways to make his modelling partner laugh so her breasts would jiggle. When he finally saw the cover, he was hurt that the artist put more muscle on him than he had at the time. That wasn't the reason they broke up though. Honest.

10) He'd like to get a degree at university. He really likes the idea of studying art, history, and computers and being around people who like the same things but sitting in at a lecture in France turned him off of the professors. Now he feels he's too old to start even though Rogue has told him she'd go back to school with him.

11) The women on the team like to drag him clubbing not only because he makes a great dance partner but also because he plays the ambiguously-gay-friend very well, thus separating the wheat from the chaff in terms of dance partners (and potential dates). He is especially proud of the time he convinced Piotr that he had a wild crush on him; the Russian was so flustered he went around in baggy sweatsuits for a week. He will not speak of the time he went clubbing with Rogue, Kitty, Rahne, Shatterstar, and Julio and has gone to great lengths to make sure the witnesses will never speak of the event either.

12) He likes tattoos but he has to be careful about where to place them so that they can't be used to identify him. It was a way to rebel against his dad (who was completing averse to the idea of tattoos) and to differentiate himself against the rest of the Guild. To date, he has seven tattoos and none of them are visible unless he's wearing a Speedo. His reaction to Rogue's full-arm tattoo was two notches shy of fetishistic.

13) He also uses the audiobooks to practice mimicking accents. He's pretty good at all the different French ones, a couple Spanish and Italian, and he can do a mean Colin Firth imitation. Irish accents are beyond him though and he's not even going to touch Scottish.

14) The magenta Kevlar was a bet he lost with Belladonna. Then he started wearing it all the time to save face-- he wasn't embarrassed to wear pink! Hell, only a real man could pull off pink! After a month, it became a signature colour; he's all about having a signature.

15) Jean-Luc made him take piano lessons until he was 14 when a chandelier inexplicably fell on the grand piano. Sometimes he wishes he continued until he remembers how Chopin's pieces made nearly crippled his fingers.

16) He is unable to watch anything on TV without throwing sarcastic asides and innuendos. He has been bodily evicted from the entertainment room for this especially on movie nights. Currently, he cannot be in the same room as a television if someone else watching CSI, Sex and the City, and Will & Grace. However, if anyone speaks in a movie theatre, that someone usually finds charged jellybeans on their lap.

17) Once every couple of weeks, he and Scott hang out together at the garage to fix things and drink beer. Sometimes they talk, but mostly, they just fix things and drink beer. He thinks of Scott as a friend but is too afraid to ask if it's reciprocated.

18) His most prized possession is a personalised Calvin and Hobbes sketch by Bill Watterson. The reclusive artist only created the sketch after a long, geeky conversation on art with the truly enthusiastic Remy. It barely sees the light of day. Maybe once in a while, he just stares at it in a temperature-controlled room under safe-lights. Maybe.

19) He loves Rowan Atkinson. He first discovered him in Blackadder which combined his two most favourite things-- history and sarcastic one-liners. He can recite the skit "No One Named Jones" from Rowan Atkinson Live perfectly and completely in character.

20) He steals little things from people he knows, even people he doesn't like very much. He keeps them in a sex-toy box under his rattiest clothes. When he gets the chance, he chooses things from his favourite people (even the love to hate people) and puts it in his safe-deposit box. In another sex-toy box, of course.

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